My deadliest sin is sloth, no doubt about it. being a teenager with free access to the internet meant many days wasted indoors (i only realise now). sadly those habits ossified, i am ‘paresseuse’.
I want to achieve great things. great is a relative term which is allowed to fluctuate. change the day of one person, change the lives of many. to have greatness (to have = to do and to be) takes hardwork, consistent and tireless work.
Logically, I have to abandon laziness in order to be the Tomris of my Dreams. Laziness is further away from me now than it was 2 years ago, but it is still there. Now is the time for discipline, now is the time for dedication, now is the time for realisation.
I am currently 1 week into a 15 week course in classical rhetoric. I am doing this alone as i could not find a rhetorician to teach me (unbelievable!). out of the 14 progymnasmata of Aphthonius i have so far done the fable (specifically the cricket and the ant, and the frogs who desired a king).
Week 1 saw me produce some great pieces of work, but it also saw me waste precious time. Logically, i cannot be doing that. Solution: direct myself towards a worthier cause whenever i start to drift away. Start writing video scripts or more blog posts. I picked up a philosophical survey book by Roger Scruton yesterday, that should keep me occupied.
Mental discussions like these reveal a fragmentation, a continuity error in what I, Tomris, want to do. Logos wants to work hard because it leads to good things, epithumia wants to sleep and eat since nothing really matters, thumos wants to save the world and is subsequently shaking and crying in the corner.
I heard A. W. Price give a talk last summer about aristotle’s eudaimonia, and he spoke forth an image i’ll never forget. He said eudaimonia was like hitting a bullseye in everything you do. The Bullseye as the mental representation of right (good) action. if i can restore balance in my *soul*, then maybe i’ll stop feeling like i’m striking the apron.
Come on girl! you better work, bitch.
Philosophy girl 
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